


sit and wait like a soldier

by tenienteross (ada)



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: F/M, Gen, Kyoto Arc, movieverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3502463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ada/pseuds/tenienteross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Megumi had told her she would regret it if she waited, and Kaoru struggled to choose a path.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sit and wait like a soldier

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 1 of Women of RuroKen at Tumblr (http://womenofrurokenweek.tumblr.com/). The prompt was "decision".
> 
> I decided to use the movie canon instead of the manga canon because I enjoyed how Kaoru's reaction to Kenshin leaving the dojo had changed. Not that I don't like her in the manga! (I will always love her) Both Kaorus had slightly different experiences, but I've recently watched the movies and I feel so in love with them right now and I just needed to work with it. Anyway, hope you like it! 
> 
> Warning: English is not my mother tongue, so I'm sorry if anything sounds off :(

_You will regret it if you wait._

Megumi’s words drummed into her head. She lied awake in her room, a faint light coming through the door. When Sanosuke had left the dojo, Megumi had followed, giving her a knowingly look. And now it was the time to make a decision.

Her decision. 

She could keep pretending, like she had already been doing – despite having denied it to Megumi that afternoon. It wasn’t like anyone had bought Kaoru’s attitude of nothing-has-happened. She hadn't even conviced herself either. How could she?

Kenshin was gone, and she felt that same emptiness inside her that she had suffered after his father’s death. After being left alone. Now Kaoru had friends, students, and her neighbours were always there to help her. Yet the sadness was still there, like a wall that didn’t allow her to move on. 

Kenshin had decided to go, to do what it should be done. To fix the mistakes of others, just as he always did. What right had she to interfere? What right had she to ask him to stay here, at the dojo, with them? With _her_?

She heaved a sigh, stirring her body under the heavy blanket. Her head ached. Her eyes were dry, even though she would cry herself to sleep. Fear had taken over his mind: fear of the consequences of her decision. Whatever she did, it didn’t seem the right thing to do. 

Kaoru could stay here and respect Kenshin’s plan. Or she could go on and follow him. Holding the salve Sano had given her, she pondered in silence.

_It's not my job to heal his wounds._

Was it hers, then? Why?

Wouldn’t he be angry if they (she) followed after him? 

Kenshin had left to fight Shishio by himself. He had become a wanderer again – he may return, or he may not. Nobody could predict the future, but something was for sure: it wasn’t going to be easy for him, just as Megumi had warned her. From what she had gathered, Shishio was not only powerful, but he also had an army of his own. How was Kenshin supposed to defeat that? Why was the government shoving all that responsibility over him? He had done his part, Kaoru thought. They should leave him live in peace.

Here at the dojo, with Yahiko and Megumi and Sano. And her. 

He might die, for real this time - and the sudden realization made her shiver. She pictured Kenshin, dying alone in some unknown corner of Kyoto. His body full of wounds and blood. His sakabatou sunk in a nameless body – and then Kenshin’s face was different. She closed her eyes, biting her lip. 

At that precise moment, Kaoru found her answer. 

She didn’t want Kenshin to be left alone. Not now, with all he was going through. Not ever. He needed their support, their help, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Even if he was giving up on this new life just to keep them safe. It was not fair. 

She would not stand by idly, thinking this might drive him into killing for the country’s sake _again_. Kenshin deserved better than this. 

Kaoru left the comfortable warmth of her bed and stood up in the dim lit room. She opened a drawer and started to look for travelling clothes. 

Sano didn’t need to be kept save. Kaoru did neither. She felt a burst of anger and rage against herself, against everything. As Kenshin had told her, it was important for a swordsman to know their limits – and Kaoru knew she was not going to be of much help against Shishio or his minions. But Kenshin didn’t deserve to be abandoned by his friends, and she could find other ways to help him. She would bring the salve. She would not stay at home restless and feeling useless. 

She would fight for him, for the chance to grant him again a peaceful life with all of them. He had earned that much. 

He was their family now. He was…

Kaoru shook her head and finished dressing. When she opened the room, Yahiko was already sitting by the bench in the garden. 

“You couldn’t sleep, Yahiko?” She asked, tentatively.

“It doesn’t look like you could either. It was about time you made up your mind!” He grunted, though there was a slim grin in his face.

Kaoru nodded, smiling back. “Then pack whatever you need and let’s go.”

“To Kyoto?” Yahiko grinned, with excitement in his eyes. 

“Yes, to Kyoto.” Kaoru took a deep breath and glanced at the stars above. “Let’s make sure Kenshin comes back home.” 

She heard her own voice - and those words felt just right. Because this was how it should be. 

In the end, it hadn't been such a difficult decision after all.


End file.
